At a stagnant point in a Westerner’s life, we will start to feel an urge. Not quite a like a sexual burn or intense craving for tapas but a dull throbbing that stems from a fleeting curiosity.
A curiosity born from an image on TV or a hair-brain idea inspired by a social superior.
It’s that inkling to do something we’ve always wanted to do… Ever since childhood… Or realised mastery of said pastime would attract members of the opposite sex.
Soon enough the inkling spills over into a gushing torrent of cash expenditure filling a river of thinly justified purchases:
- Electric guitar,
- Spare strings and
- “Super-mad panty-dropping electric guitar shredding techniques FOR DUMMIES” book + CD.
Remember how fun Guitar Hero was… Imagine rocking out for real. It only took a month or two to master those Guitar Hero songs.
While a shiny-red electric guitar looks great in the lounge room, attaining mastery requires coordination beyond any measure we are prepared to practise for.
The guitar’s ornamental value is quickly overshadowed when friends continually ask for a rendition of Metallica’s Master Of Puppets . It is soon stashed in the garage and out of sight.
After resigning to the fact that playing music maybe isn’t our thing, puny arms or fat thighs start playing on the mind.
We’d always wanted to join the local gym. Though we never really had “time” before but since our last relationship breakdown there isn’t much keeping us occupied.
“But why pay for one month of gym membership, when paying for a year is so much cheaper,” the hot girl/guy trying to sell the membership says. “Plus you get two 30-minute personal training sessions free!”
Finding motivation becomes hard when that hot trainer stops telling you what to do. Not wanting to pay the exorbitant fee for ongoing personal training, we try to wrangle a friend to hit the house of fitness too.
Since they just started a new relationship there isn’t really much point.
Soon Master Chief and X-Factor seem more appealing after work than a cross-trainer or weight bench and 10 months of the one-year membership wastes away like a bank loan on a broken-down car.
At least we still have that fashionable gym pass on our key-ring.
As pointless years fly by the garage and spare room becomes a shrine to lost interests and failed hobbies.
Surfboard, diving gear, electric juicer, Wii Fit board, treadmill, exercise bike and rusty weights from a once-expensive home gym all serve as reminders about the last flavour of the month.
Maybe we just haven’t found what we are really into … How about all that DJ equipment that’s been advertised lately?
Chicks always dig a mad DJ…